Vital Offshore Training: Lessons from the North Sea

Introduction: The Unexpected Job Requirements

Dear Suriname’s aspiring offshore workers, srananman’s, and esteemed policy makers,

So you want to work offshore in Block 58 or 52?

Let me share a Dutch treat of wisdom garnered from many years as a geologist in The Netherlands.

First things first: you’ll need some… let’s call them “exciting career enhancing experiences” that weren’t mentioned in the university brochure.

Underwater Ballet: The HUET Experience

Take the Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (HUET).

Nothing quite says “Monday morning” like practicing escaping from a metal tube underwater while strapped upside down.

I did mine at Den Helder’s Noorderhaaks Centrum, where they cheerfully explained that this training could save my life someday.

As the simulator plunged into the water and began to roll, time slowed down.

Wait for the bubbles to clear, locate the exit, release the harness, push through the window, and swim to the surface—all while fighting every instinct screaming at you to panic.

It’s just like your morning coffee, but with more adrenaline and less caffeine.

Most fortunately, throughout all my amazing flights to offshore platforms from Den Helder heliport or Schiphol Oost, the helicopter never crashed.

The most excitement I experienced was what felt like dancing salsa, bachata, or shaking like Chubby Checker’s twist during force 8 winds while taking off and landing on the rig.

Fighting Fire with… Geologists?

Then there’s the firefighting training.

Because apparently, being a geologist means you might need to moonlight as a firefighter. Who knew rocks could be so flammable?

Imagine standing before a towering wall of flames in a heavy fire-resistant suit, sweating not just from the heat but from the realization that your job description has expanded dramatically.

You’re handed an extinguisher that suddenly feels inadequate for the inferno before you, and instructed to “approach with purpose.” Purpose, in this context, apparently means “try not to become barbecue.”

The North Sea Polar Bear Club

But my personal favorite? The survival swimming in Den Helder.

Picture this:

A freezing February morning, wind howling like a disappointed drilling supervisor, and there you are, practicing group survival swimming in the North Sea. Nothing says “team building” quite like collective hypothermia!

Floating in formation, we created a human star pattern, linking arms and kicking to stay afloat.

The instructor cheerfully informed us we could survive for “quite some time” this way.

The vagueness of “quite some time” was not reassuring, nor was the color my extremities were turning.

The Last Resort: The High Dive

And here’s the pièce de résistance, the emergency escape from the rig.

Now, pay attention Suriname policy makers:

When someone tells you “jumping from 30 meters into the sea will save your life,” they’re being creative with the truth. It’s more like choosing between a hot situation and a very, very deep one.

As we say in the business: You’ll meet your maker before you meet the water!

Standing at the edge of the practice platform, looking down at what seems like the entire Atlantic Ocean stretched below, you question every career choice that led to this moment.

The leap requires a specific technique: cross your arms, cover your nose, keep your feet together. Or as I interpreted it: prepare to become the world’s most aerodynamic geologist.

Lessons for Suriname’s Offshore Future

So, dear Suriname, srananman’s, as you develop your offshore industry, remember:

You don’t just need institutions and specialized personnel for these certifications.

You need people with a serious sense of humor and a healthy appreciation for the absurd.

Because in offshore work, sometimes the only difference between tragedy and comedy is your perspective… and a really good survival suit.

For those serious about pursuing this career path:

Understand that safety training isn’t just a box to tick—it’s what stands between you and disaster
Invest in quality facilities that simulate realistic conditions
Train your personnel not just in procedures, but in maintaining calm under pressure
Remember that humor helps process stress, but thorough preparation saves lives

Conclusion: The Unexpected Joy of Preparation

Enjoyed every minute of it?

Absolutely. Would I do it again?

Pass me that survival suit!

There’s an unexpected camaraderie formed in these trainings.

As you sit dripping, exhausted, and slightly traumatized alongside your equally bedraggled colleagues, you develop bonds that can’t be formed in ordinary workplace settings.

You’ve seen each other vulnerable, frightened, and triumphant.

You’ve witnessed each other’s strength and resilience.

This is the hidden value of these seemingly absurd trainings.

P.S.

Bonus tip: When they say “survival training,” they’re not just testing your physical abilities.

They’re testing your ability to maintain your sense of humor while freezing in places you didn’t know could freeze.

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